Super Bash Sisters Present: The Smash Cafe
by AriZonia1
Summary: The fighters have been working hard to train the newcomers in Smash Mansion, so the girls decide to hold a nice café for them, but they decide to wrangle one lucky male for this, will Shulk get out of this ok? Or die of embarrassment? Warnings: Crossdressing, fluffy Shulk/Male!Robin if you squint at the end


Smash Mansion, the place competitors of the well-known Super Smash Brothers spend their time when not duking it out against each other. A home away from home in a strange sort of way. Surprisingly, the manor is quite peaceful contrary to the brawls and melees that happen in the regulated matches. Most of the competitors are even friends with each other outside battle, many even going as far as to be curious of the worlds the others reside in.

Two ladies are walking slowly down a hallway, they have been engaging in conversation since they met up all but a few minutes ago. One is the fair Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, who is taking a leisurely stroll around as she speaks with the wise Princess Zelda of Hyrule.

"It's only been a week since all the veterans threw that party for the newcomers this year." Peach muses to her friend.

"It's been a long time coming. I think though the boys have been pushing themselves too hard to test how powerful all the newcomers are." Zelda replies.

"Are you suggesting we have our little event early this year?"

"Possibly, but first, let us go see if the Master will allow us to." Zelda contemplates, "Considering it's already getting a bit chilly outside, we'll have to make use of the sunroom on the second floor this year I feel."

The blonde princess nods as they make their way to the control center. They hope Master Hand will allow this odd change in schedule. The café is usually held in late spring as to take advantage of the better weather. Due to the amount of stress the Smashers are under at this point in time, it should be better if it is held now instead of waiting until spring.

In another area of the manor, a group of male fighters have all gathered at their usual spot in the courtyard about a minutes walk away from the Mr. Saturn hotspring. All four have only been a collective group for a couple days.

The blunette of the group chuckles lightly, "I'm sorry to say Shulk, but your story is quite farfetched, being able to glimpse into the future by use of your sword. Unheard of."

The one named Shulk scratches his neck as he adjusts the blade that is somehow attached to his back without any type of strap, "Well… it's hard to explain how it works. I'm not really positive of it myself. But these visions… they do help. And in this mad house of a manor, I will gladly accept them. I hope you will understand Marth."

Marth adjusts his bangs slightly as he looks over at his long time friend as he tunes his ocarina, "Anything to add Link?"

The Hylian glances at his companion and the Hom boy before shaking his head slowly. Across from Link is a silverette who has contented himself to a book this entire time, but still listening. He looks at Shulk quietly, the young lad looking like he'd break any second, whether from the doubt of his new "friends" or for other unknown reasons. He closes his tome and decides to speak.

"Marth, you've been returning to this place for thirteen years. You were part of that chaos realm adventure you all called the Subspace Emissary," He pauses to look amongst his companions, "surely something like that sword giving Shulk visions has to be something that wouldn't sound all that strange by now."

Marth places a hand to his chin as he thinks, "You may have a point Robin. With a firebreathing dragon, a blue hedgehog, a plumber with a vacuum, and a Space Pirate fighting bounty hunter, that sword is the least strange thing I've heard."

This small proclamation made the young Hom cheer up a little, he was always a bit of a pessimist, so a little pick-me-up can sometimes bring him back to reality. He smiles as he scratches his neck again and looks at the silverette that opened his book again.

"Thank you Robin." The Hom near whispers, "But, that is quite enough about me and Bionis, what is your story Link?"

The Hylian stops playing the ocarina for a second but doesn't have a chance to speak as Zelda walks up to the group. The princess smiles graciously as Marth addresses her. Before she has a good chance to speak though, Shulk shakes his head as if to stop himself from daydreaming.

Zelda starts to speak, "Shulk are you…?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. I have to go." He replies quickly before running off, nearly knocking over the chair he was sitting in.

Everyone watches in bemusement as the young adult hurries back into the manor. It seems like he forgot something, or remembered something. The remaining males all look at each other before looking back at Zelda, who is just as confused, if not more.

"He does that often." Robin mentions as he stands up to leave, "I believe it has something to do with these 'visions' of the future he sees. He was sort of in a trance state for a little bit as soon as Link noticed your presence."

The aforementioned male finally takes a chance to speak, "Is there something you needed Zelda?"

"Well… I was going to speak to Shulk… but as we saw, he left quite quickly. I'll have to ask Samus for assistance."

"What's going on?"

"Peach and I got permission from Master Hand to hold our annual event a bit early this year since all the veteran fighters have been working so hard to train the newcomers." She says as she pulls out a few pieces of paper, "This is just a small flyer we had Palutena sketch up a little while ago."

The three boys nod as each is given a flyer talking about the event that takes place tomorrow. They wave slightly as the princess walks off to find her friend Samus to have her talk to the Hom fighter. As she returns inside the hallway she passes by the "assistant fighter" to Shulk, his friend Dunban. The war veteran of Bionis smiles and does a small bow as he crosses his good arm over his torso.

"Good day Lady Zelda. Something appears to be troubling you?" The raven haired man inquires, "Does it have to do with Shulk? I did just pass by him about a minute ago."

The Hylian princess explains to Dunban just as she had to Robin, Link, and Marth about what was going on. She decides to divulge just a tad bit more information to him after he swears by his honor that he will not discuss this matter with the young blond. As she explains the older Hom male finds it very hard to contain his own urge to laugh.

"I apologize, but I'm afraid the image materializing in my mind is just… hilarious." Dunban manages to say through his laughter, "However, I do believe it is a nice idea. It will work fine for your purposes. Now, I must be going, the young angel… Pit I believe… wants me to meet an acquaintance of his. He mentioned we are quite similar."

"Take care Mr. Dunban." Zelda replies as he starts to walk away.

In the room he shares with the bounty hunter Samus, Shulk finally saunters in. He feels like he was bit rude to Zelda, but the vision he had only spelled trouble. The blue eyed fighter sets the Monado over by his closet as he shrugs off his vest and the rest of his armor after removing his boots, leaving him in the shorts he commonly wears to matches on Tortimer's Island. He grabs a book before he lies down on his bed to read, but he can't focus because every little noise makes him jump, just thinking that the vision could become fate in any second. After looking at the door and seeing no one walk in, he finally decides to try and let it rest. For all he knows, it could happen tomorrow.

After about an hour's worth of reading, Shulk finally sets down the book. He's unsure why he reads this "graphic novel" series. He doesn't even know what "Canada" is, though, he does admire the fact that the main character reminds him of his friend Reyn a bit, both have red-orange hair, kind of stupid from time to time, but very brave and they both care for the woman of their dreams. Shulk thinks he should find a way to contact his friend soon. He casually stands up and stretches a bit as he hears the room door creak open.

Shulk smiles as his roommate returns, "Good evening Samus. I haven't seen you much today."

The swordsman always tries to be nice around the bounty hunter, especially since he's the only fighter in the manor with a roommate of the opposite gender due to some… rooming issues. She usually responds quite pleasantly, but she has a look that screams that she will accept no nonsense today. The blonde woman has a mischievous glint in her eyes and tiny smirk.

"Good evening to you too Shulk." Samus replies, "Zelda wanted to talk to you. Are you aware?"

The young blond boy starts trembling a bit as Samus closes the gap between them and lifts the shorter male over her shoulder and starts carrying him out of their room. He panics slightly as he realizes this is the exact thing that happened in his vision earlier in the day.

"Samus, for the love of Bionis, put me down!" The young adult says as he starts flailing around in her grasp, "You know I'm not wearing trousers!"

"Come on now Shulk," She chuckles, "You show up to battles in those shorts of yours ninety-five percent of the time. R.O.B.'s been keeping track of our stats."

The blond boy ceases his arguments but continues to try and wiggle out of the bounty hunter's grasp with no avail, she's a lot stronger than she initially let's on. Eventually, maybe after about a five minute walk, Samus finally opens up another Smasher's bedroom door and plops the young Hom onto the floor. He brushes his messy bangs out of the way and squeaks when he sees Peach standing above him, smiling.

"Thank you Samus, though, you could have just told him to follow you." The pink dressed princess comments.

"This was easier." Samus replies as she rubs her shoulder where she carried him, "You weigh quite a bit for a small boy."

After a bit of idle chatter, the Goddess of Light and Mother of the Cosmos finally make an appearance. Shulk tightens his grip on the blanket that had been handed to him a little while ago. He watches as Palutena smiles and starts explaining.

"I got the message you got carried here. Considering the situation, it's good to know Sammy can just pick you up." Paluenta says, eliciting a groan from the bounty hunter, "But, the reason you're here is because us girls are having a Maid Café tomorrow."

The Hom gives a confused look, "But I'm male."

Peach smiles as she takes out two hangers with two different outfits, "We know, but Master Hand said we have to have a boy this year. Just like last time."

"Then why don't you ask Pit? Or Link? Maybe Marth?"

Zelda decides to add in, "We used those guys in the past three years. Same for Red when he was still a fighter."

"Can't you use Robin?" Shulk is becoming desperate to get out of this situation as the girls start taking his measurements, "Or what about Kuro? Pretty sure he could fill this role."

Rosalina takes a tape measure to Shulk's arm, "Robin is Spring's target, and Kuro is a 'clone', Master forbids their use. That's also why Lucina and Robbi aren't here."

After about five minutes worth of measuring and remeasuring, the girls finally allow the young Hom to pick his outfit, either one is embarrassing, considering they're both frilly outfits. He finally settles on the one with the cat ears since it's longer and might actually cover him a bit more. He groans as the girls help him get it on and they tighten all the little belts, laces, and bows.

Peach lightly pushes the young adult in front of her mirror. She smiles as he sighs.

"Come on now, you look absolutely stunning!" Peach says as she adjusts the kitty ears on his head, "The café is only for a few hours tomorrow afternoon."

Zelda watches from the side as she pulls out her camera and takes a few silent pictures. The other girls are contacting Robbi and Lucina to tell them about tomorrow.

After what seems like forever in the blond boy's mind, the female Smashers finally let him get out of the uniform he'll be forced to wear tomorrow. He tenderly folds it in his arms before 'thanking' Peach, Zelda, Palutena, and Rosalina for their help and walking away.

Samus is about to follow him to go and get into bed but she stops at the door to look at her friends.

"Please tell me you didn't tell Robbi and Lucina to tease him. I already almost feel bad for him considering how red he was in the face when you put him in that dress."

Palutena giggles, "Don't worry Sammy. He'll be ok."

The bounty hunter rolls her eyes as she bids everyone a good night. After leaving Palutena takes a sigh of relief that Samus didn't catch her blatant cover up. Rosalina bids farewell to her companions as she floats off to go check up on the lumas and make sure they aren't hungry.

The next afternoon all the girls had gathered an hour before opening to make sure everything is arranged and all the pastries are baked. Palutena is waiting by the door, impatiently tapping her foot as she waits for the last member of the 'team' to show up.

"He's late." She says as she picks up a mint and crushes it between her teeth, "I thought you said the English ones arrived early Rosy."

Rosalina stops setting a table, "I never said that. I said they 'never arrive early'."

Just as the Goddess of Light was going to smash another innocent mint, Shulk runs up and nearly trips into her.

"I do apologize for my tardiness Palutena. I had business to attend to with Nurse Joy in the infirmary."

The Goddess smiles menacingly, "Just go get changed. We open in ten minutes."

The young boy scurries away to an enclosed area so he can get changed out of his Colony 9 attire, in the meanwhile some of the male fighters and Pokémon start to show up outside the door. The green haired goddess smiles at them as she lets them know it'll be a little bit before they open, finishing with a small bow. Peach waves happily to Mario as she finishes setting up the cakes she made.

A few minutes later and the café is finally opened. The male Smashers that had been waiting are now seated and asking for their afternoon drinks and snacks. Most of the patrons were being seated and waited on by Peach, Zelda, and Palutena as Samus takes care of food prep and Rosalina was cashiering. Shulk spent most of his time standing almost out of sight and helping Samus as he could, just to avoid going to the floor.

The Hom's luck was pretty good for most of the time until his companions showed up. He peered over the cake display and nearly squeaked when he saw Robin glance in his direction. He sighs when he hears Palutena's footsteps come close to him and she nearly tosses him away from his hiding spot. He flushes as little as he grabs a serving tray and walks over to the table.

Link and Marth don't notice that they're being waited on by a guy and just go about with their simple orders as Shulk scribbles down the requests onto his notepad. He avoids making any and all eye contact with the other patrons around him even though he can just feel their judging stares. Or maybe that was just his paranoia kicking in. He couldn't quite tell at this point.

He slightly glances at Robin through the corner of his eye as the tactician struggles to figure out what exactly he wants. The white haired adult finally settles on a cup of coffee with a large amount of cream but only a little sugar. After closing the notebook the blond takes a slight bow, as he was instructed to earlier that morning. After "formally" dismissing himself he walks away to give Samus the ticket, but is stopped by the Villager children as Rosey tugs at his apron slightly. Begrudgingly, he has to serve the female patrons as he is the only male on duty. So he stops and kneels down to jot down all the coffee orders the Villagers want.

Marth watches as Shulk kneels down, still blissfully unaware of who it actually is, "I find it a little strange how that one is the only maid here wearing kitty ears and a tail."

Robin looks up from his book about Nopon, "That's because it's Shulk, it's probably the only outfit the girls had that fit him properly."

Link's eyes widen slightly as he stops fiddling with the flower on the table, "How can you tell?"

Robin turns around and looks at the Hom as he stands up, "He's still wearing those shoes of his, even though they severely clash with the rest of that outfit he was more than likely forced to wear."

The other two swordsmen lean a bit to the side to see that, in fact, Shulk refused to put on the maid shoes and opted to keep his normal ones, probably justified as so he doesn't break an ankle trying to walk in heels. Other than a simple cosmetic difference, it's near impossible to tell his gender at a glance.

Marth rights himself in his seat as he starts glancing about the room, he takes note that Shulk has only waited on two tables since he and the other two got there. All the others are being handled by the girls. The blue haired prince concludes that it's not a coincidence that the girls seem to be doing most of the labor today. He glances over at Link, who has contented himself with a cell-phone and is playing a game as he waits for his tea.

A few minutes pass before the blond waiter returns with the cakes and drinks for his friends. Delicately he places each plate on the table as he recalls who had ordered what. He tenderly also places the sugar and cream in Robin's drink as the silverette watches. After finishing his task he starts setting the things back on his serving tray. He squeaks slightly as the tactician grabs his arm.

In a swift movement, Robin has Shulk kneeling and leaning in close as he speaks in a hushed voice, "What the hell is going on? Why are you here?"

"It's hard to explain…" The Hom says honestly, "After this ordeal is over I'll speak to you. Please let me go, I have another order to fill."

Robin lets go of the other's arm and casually goes to grab his drink as he signals for his 'maid' to leave before Zelda or Palutena come over and have a word with him. The tactician's companions have a slight air of confusion about them as Robin opens his book again after the waiter's departure.

Link slowly nibbles on his strawberry cake as he watches the other waitresses mill about, tending to their 'masters'. Truly a sight to behold, seeing such strong, powerful, women tending to the other fighters like this. He chuckles slightly as Zelda comes and checks up on them, smiling peacefully.

After a few minutes of snacking, Marth bids his friends farewell, and walks away to get prepared for a match in few minutes. Link decides he's going to go spectate and says goodbye to Robin and bows as he walks past Zelda. As he's on his way out, he accidentally bumps into Dunban's right shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Link says quietly, watching as Dunban recoils in pain slightly, "I didn't-."

"It's quite ok. It was an accident. I will be fine." The war veteran says to the Hylian reassuringly, "A bump to the shoulder is nothing compared to Miss Aran trying to help me regain use of my arm. She does not mess around."

Link chuckles, "Sounds like Samus. I will see you later?"

The raven-haired man nods as he watches Link walk by Riki as he waddles in. The orange Nopon smiles and starts wiggling around as he sees so many desserts just ready to be eaten.

Peach strolls up to the duo and bows gracefully, "Welcome home Masters. Your seat is ready for you."

"Thank you m'lady." Dunban replies, returning the bow and playing along with the scenario.

The pink-clad waitress leads the pair and sets them at a table close to the cake display. Riki is given a chair similar to the the ones provided to the smaller fighters so he can actually see the top of the table. He giggles and says a thank you to Peach for the nice gesture.

"Do you have any requests Masters?" Peach asks blissfully.

Dunban glances around, he had caught word that there was a male that was part of the staff today. He doesn't see him around though, just a decent amount of male patrons, including Robin, but no sign of Shulk at all, Dunban had passed Marth as he left. The Hom veteran knows why Robin is alone and why he doesn't see his 'adopted' ward.

He motions for Peach to let him whisper in her ear, "I request the male on duty. Or is that too much to ask m'lady?"

Peach is slightly concerned based on the raven-haired adult's tone, but she goes and fetches Shulk regardless. The young Hom blushes deep when he strolls up and sees Dunban and Riki.

The blond bows nervously, "What is it you request Masters?" The words are so foreign to Shulk, they aren't right. He feels like a pet when he says those words.

Riki hops in his seat and starts to wiggle around in the chair, "Riki like cake! The cake with many berries, the blue, the straw, and the razz!" At least Riki can't be too much of a tease, he only cares for the food, "Can Shulk make the slice extra big for Riki? Heropon need lots of cake to fill his belly."

Shulk hesitates, "I… don't think Miss Peach will let me. May I suggest two slices of cake for the Heropon?"

Palutena had been walking by with Pit's donuts when Shulk said 'heropon'. She is unsure if she should scold him as she doesn't know if that is a title. She lets it slide, she knows Shulk plays by the rules and doesn't want to get scolded in front of the customers. She assumes that whatever a 'heropon' is a title specific to Riki, and Riki only.

Shulk scribbles down the last of Riki's requests before he looks over to Dunban, "A-and you…?" He couldn't spit out the last word, but the other Hom knew what he meant to say.

Dunban is known for being sophisticated, but he can't help but playfully tease the younger, "Some coffee if you may." the older gestures for the other to lean in close as he strokes a finger under his chin, "I want it nice and _sweet_."

Shulk shudders visibly at his fellow Hom's tone, he knows what Dunban is playing at, trying to get him to break, or at least get him as red as a tomato. Nervous chicken scratches are put onto the notepad as soon as quickly as possible. The blond turns on his heel so swiftly he nearly trips over his own feet, he manages to barely catch himself without succumbing to gravity. After rushing back towards the coffee machine he finally takes a much needed breath, damn Dunban and his playful tricks, also damn this café, just damn everything that led up to this moment. Shulk takes this opportunity to calm his nerves, but he can't take much solace in this time as he watches as Robin slowly walks up towards him.

"Y-you need something?" The young swordsman asks politely, voice nearly a whisper, "You're n-not supposed to be back here."

The tactician gently sets his finished cup next to the machine before looking the other straight in the eye, "If it is not a bother, can I visit you tonight in your room?"

The blue eyed male averts his gaze, the other seems a bit close for comfort. He can't tell if Robin doesn't know that personal boundaries for Homs are different than humans, or he just wants to stand really close. Shulk takes a nervous breath before responding, "I… well… can I give you an answer later…? Dunban and Riki…they…"

Robin raises a hand to signal Shulk to stop talking, "Very well. You only have another fifteen minutes before close. I will be in the Hot Springs, I will alert the Saturn's."

The white haired mage turns and walks away gracefully. His robe waving elegantly as the taller watches as he struts away. He doesn't have much time to admire though, Dunban's coffee will get cold, and Riki doesn't like waiting for his cake.

The young adult slowly walks back to his assistant fighters and delicately sets the plates of dessert down for Riki. Gently he pours the dark roast into the mug, nearly cringing at the smell. He never was fond of coffee, but he must deal with it for now. After setting down the coffeepot, he grabs the sugar and cream before adding them to the brew. After two small cubes and a couple tablespoons worth of cream, the darker haired male signals that is all he desires.

Standing straight again, Shulk dismisses himself and carries the serving tray away. He passes Zelda and she lightly taps his shoulder.

"We have two last customers for you to serve." the Hylian princess says nicely, "They're over by the window with the lilac plants next to it. After that you're free to go."

A faint blush covers the young lad's face. He had been hoping Dunban and Riki were the last ones he'd have to attend to, but as luck would have it, that is not the case. He lightly dusts off his apron before returning to the floor. Shulk blushes and gulps as he sees his last patrons for the day, Lucina and Robin's 'twin' Robbi, Lucina looks like she's been plotting something, much like Dunban, while Robbi is just reading a book.

Careful footsteps are taken as the blond boy heads towards the table. He gets up close and bows as he welcomes his 'Mistresses'. Robbi smiles as she peacefully asks for a cup of green tea. She doesn't even try to tease, she is only here for a drink. Lucina however, has all intentions to mess with Shulk.

"What about you Miss Lucina?" the Hom asks quietly.

Lucina leans in a bit with her elbow on the table, "How about you get me a nice, _moist_, slice of chocolate cake." Her words are deliberate, and are meant to try and embarrass the poor lad, "Also, I want that with a lot of _icing_, as well as a coffee with lots of _cream_."

If she kept talking, surely the young blond would have cracked and not be able to contain composure. He scratches down the requests and swiftly heads back to the kitchen, but not before he clumsily trips over his clunky boots. Landing face first he lets out a small groan before picking himself up again, a heavy blush coating his face. Without looking at the remaining guests, he runs to the back. Shulk hands off the note to Samus as he sits down in a secluded place to inspect his scraped up knees. An audible sigh escapes his lips as he watches the blood trickle down his leg. It's nothing major, and he shouldn't need to go to the infirmary if he uses his Art right.

Slowly the young Hom lifts his right hand above his head and watches as a small blue light starts to materialize above his palm, "Light heal." he mumbles and watches as his Ether energy is redirected to his wounds to speed up the healing process, "That should at least keep it from bruising."

The blue-eyed male stands up again as he hears Samus' call for him to pick up Robbi's tea. He thanks the bounty hunter as he grabs the rest of the things that had been ordered. The blond is surprised that anyone was able to read his chicken scratches. He had been so flustered he could barely write, or think straight for that matter.

After recomposing himself, Shulk finally struts out to the table, he's happy to see that Dunban and Riki have left in the time he had been gone. Lucina still has a mischievous look on her face as the young adult starts setting the food and drinks on the table. The Hom is relieved that she said nothing else to tease him and only dismissed him from the table once he finished his task. He can admit to himself that Dunban had been worse, only if it is because he personally knows the man.

Briskly walking past Palutena and Peach, the male finally reaches the area where he set his normal clothes and quickly gets changed. After walking past all the ladies of Smash again, he takes time to 'thank' them, to at least be nice, but he runs away before any of them can say anything.

Robin is relaxing in the water watching the Mr. Saturn's mill about, doing what they do. He hears the door to the springs open and close at the other end of the room. The tactician sinks a bit into the water to make himself less noticeable in case whoever came in isn't who he expects it to be. His eyes wander to avoid staring out at whoever else is in here with him. He is relieved though when he sees his blond companion wade over to him.

The seer takes a seat next to Robin and leans into him as he lets the hot water relax his tense muscles, "I'm happy that ordeal is over. After you, Link, and Marth, most of my patrons were actively trying to embarrass me. I just need to get this off my mind."

The white haired mage allows the other to rest on his shoulder to relax and stop worrying about today's event, "That's partially the reason I asked you to come see me here." He hears a slight chuckle before speaking again, "They didn't torment you too much, did they?"

Shulk tiredly shakes his head as he feels himself nodding off, "No, thankfully. They also mentioned that there will be another one in Spring, like the original intention."

"Really? Sounds like it will be interesting." Robin replies as he rests a hand on the other's head and playing with the short, wispy hair.

Another chuckle, "For me. You're the male waiter when March rolls around."

"Damn it."


End file.
